Painting is beautiful

I never thought that I would be in a class painting, or that I would get much out of the experience. My first painting was a sad febal attempt. This is at least in my own eyes. My classmates are however very nice people. One in particular told me she really liked my painting style. This new one however is really great. I decided to use only green and purple with variations of the colors. So far it is going great! I got so caught up in it tonight that I forgot I was suppose to call one of my realitves. I did call, but no answer, so hello to the machine :) I"ll try and catch em tommorrow. I know I should have kept it totally on my mind, but I got so wraped up in how I was going to create my hat, and all of the colors and highlights.
This week has also been better, thanks to breadchick. I have been allowing myself to mellow out a bit. I finished my paper for Pop Culture, turned it in. Then I was able to complete an exam for college as a take home, because my Professor is the best!!! I even only have to work a six hour shift tommorrow, and i was able to finally get some new jeans. Now if I just don't gain anymore weight, that would be ....... well the next best thing..

Arcadia...."Dreams do come true"

Getting better.....

Now that one of my angels in my life has called me, I'm getting better.

I know I have people who love me on my side, and the worries I was burdened with I should slowly let subside. I just need to lay myself down to sleep, and pray the lord my soul to keep. I know that I have always done my best, now I just need time to rest. The paper I have writen sits upon my desk. It waits for me...like I wait for my test tommorrow, it will not run away. It will wait until the morrow.

ARCADIA

NOT AGAIN, THIS SUCKS

Ok so if any of you remember, my mom didn't want me to get married a couple of months ago.

Then she says she's fine. Well now she's back to her old game again! I wanted to trust her, to

believe that she would stand by what she told me: Not to listen to others like she did, but to

follow my heart. Everytime I think she'll stand up for me with me, she doesn't. She isn't a

Gilmore Girl, she is just a slave to Emily(if your familar with the show you'd understand.) Emily

is a lot like my grandmother. She likes to make decsions for other people's lives. I love my

grandmother, but she needs to realize she can't control everything and everyone. People need to

make their own chocies, and the choices she made for my mom weren't all that great, or my

mom wouldn't have dealt with so much up to now; of coarse my mom is worried, but she needs

to let me live my own life. And if she thinks we're really like the Gilmore Girls she needs to think

back to Lorili who excepted Jess in the third season, and man she wasn't crazy about him.

My mom if she was like Rory's would except my decsion and think of me as a smart girl, not a

dumb one who needed to listen to Emily Gilmore, queen of the witches. Looks like my dad will

be there for me though, and his girlfriend. They believe that I deserve a wedding, and that I

work really hard for everything I have gotton. I may not be Rory, but I have worked real hard

to get where I am.

ARCADIA

The Second Best child.

I want to crawl into someone else's world

to feel the comfort that I deserve
I need the gilmore girls solution
not this institution
I am lost, mad, lonely, irritated by the fact
I ask for three simple things, which cannot be obtained.
Tables, chairs, and a tent, is this really to much to ask.
All I need you to take care of mom, the rests on me it will be done.

You turn your head away, so it's hotdogs and chips on my wedding day.

We get to toast, say hay we've done this all, this is our wedding to us by us for us because everyone else fell. One day when we ask for help, that you cannot answer, my friends our more willing to help then my mother. I asked for three simple things, how hard is it? I mean really how difficult could it be, I tried to make it easy... I tried to provide a lot, but three simple things, I don't think that's much,

We're providing the preacher, the food, and the rings

The Dj, the napkins, the forks and the things.

I don't ask for much, no not at all, even asking for help

not from you, but from another for the port a potty that's all. So I bought my dress, I bought the nakins, we bought the plates, the untinsels, and extra's. So I get cheated, you just can't provide the three things I asked from the begining I've tried. I feel you don't love me you don't care at all. I don't ask for much, you just stall.

:(

Arcadia wishes she could crawl in the tube, live with Joan or Roary, and just be sudued. It will not happen and everyone just laughs as always I am the one who ends up with second best.

This week was Lucky!

I was very lucky this week. I finally got my wisdom teeth removed, thanks be to god! Also that paper that was due this tuesday has been moved to next tuesday!!! Hoooray! Now on Sunday after I get out of work, I have to finish a short assignment, and then also start to work on that paper. I'm not feeling to co-herent right now, and with almost little to no sleep last night, I want to relax. I'm hoping my prof e-mails me back some idea's about my paper. We talked after class on thursday, but those things tend to go in one ear and out the other. I figure I'll do a quick summary of each movie, and try to focus on the persona of herbie in certain scences of the film. I think that is my best bet.
hmmmm bridget jones diaries the edge of reason is calling my name. Ok LOL, bye. ArcAdia

My mind needs to help me write this paper.

Tonight I"m not really sure what to write about. I am pulling an all nighter to work on finishing a reading assignment for my Pop Culture's class. I also have put together a template of information towards a paper I'll begin writing tommorrow. I must have a rough draft before this week is up so I can have a final draft to present to my professor. This is no easy paper, ten to twelve pages. I just hope I have the formula down right. I am going to discuss my process with him today, well this afternoon. I hope that he will find it in good order, or have suggestions for it. I have been really lazy on getting started on this. I have watched "The love bug", and will watch "Herbie Fully Loaded" tonight after my love has gone to the store to rent it for me. Then I can begin to analyze that. I'm just going to work on my introduction which I hope I can strech into at least a page, then the body at least six pages, gush, don't know how I am going to do that though. I have a formula that I hope will help me with that ten to twelve page dilema. I do have a lot to discuss about the volks wagon. A thesis will be the hardest thing for me to come up with. ughh I hate them. I know I will discuss, the history of the beetle, it's popularity, or trend that is a reoccurence in popculture, the movies that helped and pushed this into existance first 1968's lvoe bug, then the movie with linesdy lohan 2005. How we view the bug itself, it's persona that we give it, and how it differs from 1968 to 2005. How it is commercialized in both films, along with how people view the volkswagon of today, and maybe what will it's future be, will it continue to thrive in the coming years, and update to fit our needs, desires, and wants, will it continue to change as our pop culture changes/trends? Uh g mmm I have to read on the road now.....

Adios ARCADIA..... God please don't let me do this... Help me to whip myself back into the good studious student, like Rory from "Gilmore Girls"......

What do I know?

Right now I am not really sure.... I don't know..... hmm what do I know? I know I have a paper due on Valentines day, I know my family loves me, I know I must keep going forward, I know that I'm fustrated by everyday struggles that everyone goes through, and I know I have to keep moving. Thus my audience, if there is one, or will ever be one is the concept of life, keep moving, consuming, working, buying, selling, driving, keep the cycle of humanity going through capitolism, not that I believe this is the right way, or the only way, it just is, Popular Culture?

A Mythic fictional adventure is needed to keep beliefs going, that is what we must find. A Road trip, perhaps a coming of age story, or a long journey that leaves us feeling complete, or maybe a painting... you or I or some one creates?

Instead I just look up at the moon, wondering are there others like me, who have wandered, pushed forward toward what they believed to be reachable destinations, only to discover that they were only average?

Arcadia..... "Joan where are you?"