"There's no place like home"-Dorthey, Wizard of Oz.....Still Arcadia

Here I am again, is anyone listening. Home hmmm yes it will be nice to get back there and away from T.C. even if it isn't to far away. I just have to survive working Memorial weekend!!!! My worst fear is driving and how many people will be out and about. I know I"m just going to be going to work then coming home to read, watch t.v., movies or a series on DVD. I might even play a video game. I should be studying math, but until money comes in to fix the computer I use then it won't happen. The program I have will not run on this version of xp because something has been messed with, damn hackers, or even just plain virus. Even when I use what we have it doesn't always work. so whatever.... I'm gonna have to find a way to use it somehow. Again I want to say REMEMBER JOAN......as if you care, but oh well.

Only one person has showed me they care thanks breadchick!

What if GOD was one of US?-Joan Osborne

It rained all day yesterday, and for a good reason. "Joan of Arcadia" only mangaged to get 2% of the votes for the save our show rally. What won "arrested Development" sorry to those who loved joan, but I think the devil is winning in our society. Where are all the christians or even just those who have faith in god, do they nnot believe that god comes in all shapes sizes and forms are we all so closed minded? Many people sit down to watch the famous lifes of "Nick and Jessica", and the "bachlorett". Where are we headed, why can't we just enjoy a good sitcom, or drama? A lot of the shows that have any of these things are slowly being fazed out "Judging Amy" was cancelled thank goodness it did have quite a long run, "Everybody loves Raymond" ended it's running at least the fans got to see the outcome, but shows like Joan that are different and make people think never last because people don't want to think while watching televison, or else it doesn't occur to them that something different might be just what the doctor ordered. I should have know this show lasting was way to good to be true! "My so -called life only lasted well less then one season!!!!!!!!!!!! What bothers me most is that no one cares, and those who do have no power over it. You may say how can god let this happen, He gives us free will, and that free willl is how it happened, at least I was able to have joan the character for a time she gave me hope and peace and I always knew what she did was right. I belive Joan defeated Ryan in the end, the non-listener of god, that is what I would like to believe, but it is hard to when she has been defeated herself by the world, by a society that can no longer take in quality televison. God save us!

HAVE U SAVED JOAN YET? I DIDN'T THINK SO YOU BUGGERSSS!

GO TO http://www.petitiononline.com/sw34fr56/petition.html

Ok please, I have had enough of the violence, hate and sex on televison, My lord how did Touched by an Angel ever surivive! So if you loved MY SO CALLED LIFE.... DO SOMETHING DON'T JUST SIT ON YOUR BUMS! FREEDOM OF SPEECH PEOPLE. BUT OF COURSE NO ONE SEES MY BLOG, I'M JUST A CRAIZED COLLEGE STUDENT, RETAIL WORKER, DRONE!!! TO ALL OF YOU I AM NOTHING, WELL AT LEAST i KNOW gOD IS ON MY SIDE!-arCADIA

SAVE JOAN OF ARCADIA!!!!!!!!!!

TO ANYONE WHO EVER KNEW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO LOVE A SHOW THAT INSPIRED YOU, AND GAVE YOU HOPE, THIS IS JOAN OF ARCADIA.
GO TO www.petitiononline.com/sw34fr56/petition.html tell them you want to save our show. It is so hard to come by shows that actually have meaning that aren't about sex, violence or gaining power or money, that actually have morals please help support that keep this show alive!
Literaly I beg of you! I'm not joking either.
ARCADIA..... Joan is my hero, if she goes I'm gonna miss her. I don't care if she is only someone who was created for a show she's who I wish I could be....she's special.

Finally it's over like a bad car crash.

Offically college is over, and I am to much of a freak to even have checked my grades yet. All I want on wednesday night is to grab a couple of good movies n vegged, just like I have done tonight thank goodness no work tommorrow. I have to writa a reference letteer for a friend of mine.I hear the rain outside my; windo, pitter pattering furiously, apparently something is up, if not only the spring grass appearing all green n fluffy like. Bed sounds so nice right now, dreams of nothingness ........
but I would like to read, if only I could find something that would keep my attention. I cannot believe that "My thirteen Winter" is not holding it, I feel like bad you know, because it is suppose to be this inspiration al book about math, but I need to escape that for now.At least that is how I am feeling. TTFN time to read and get some shut eye!-ARCADIA

Done, but not just totally mush on the ground.

I am mush on the ground, I am smashed, walked on and beaten. I am lost, I cannot cry. There is to much that has happened. I know I just gave up on myself, or maybe it was circumstances. Everyone would say that these are just excuses, so I am smooshed. All I wanted was to be, exist in others eyes, have a purpose. I wanted to be HOPE, I needed to be. My faith is gone. I look around for her. I try to sit up straight, I try to tell myself academics aren't what matter. Academics don't make me who I am, it doesn't change me, but it does. Succeed, succeed, this is what we are pushed to do since kindergarten, achieve achieve, or you are no one, don't you want to be smart? I always thought I was until now. Maybe I was only meant to be a peon, waiting on others making them happy. Like I've said before, to bad god won't talk to me, to bad Joan of Arcadia is only a televison show. All I ever wanted was to be special, people keep telling me that I am. I don't believe it anymore. I don't believe anything expect the hurt that I feel.
No one except Meg is coming to my party, at least I don't have to go to my math class anymore. I'm still going to work On improving it even if I flunked. I must be mad,crazy and horried. I need a hug, but I always need a hug, GOD I AM A NEEDY BITCH.why do i feel like i deserve so much, who the hell am i anyway?
me, who loved Madonna, wanted to be a star, never was, never was brave, only scared and timd. So what if I went to college anyone can,it doesn't mean anything, so What if I keep trying it doesn't mean I am learning, so what if children love me.
I need my Karma to hit me back, or else my faith and hope will never re-apper. I tell myself your lucky, your not homeless, you have a job, you have a fiance, and you have family that love you, but that doesn't stop me from wanting more, I am so selfish, is it selfish to want a home, to want a family, to want a kittten, all of my own. If it is hell here I come.
God if you want me please take me, otherwise thanks, I get to be a peon, I get to be walked on. ONly good thing is my boss loves me and supports me it's those above her that will never understand, us little people. Each other is all we have, I"m done, I'm gone, for now, I know I will move on I will heal, but it will always be a wound unhealed. All I wanted was to be, to exits to be known.
What am I? This semester made me ? this. Why am I? Even if god exist. why..................