It's finally Me!!

I haven't felt much like writing lately. I have just been doing the normal routine of college and work. I did have one of my friends over yesterday which was pretty fun. I got tired real fast though since the last couple of nights I stayed up late. My husband and I were trying to move stuff around our apt to make it feel more spacious and homey. We haven't got everything done yet, but the living room looks nice. It's not good that I have been lacking sleep and energy. I am trying to stay positive. I need to start getting out more, walking, getting exercise to help my mind get flowing, exercise creates endorphins and I"m just not getting any of those right now. I am hoping that since my internship hours have now been completed, and I only have my last journal to write as well as my volenteer work (nothing bad, just am volenteering at the center I interned at to help with the kids.) I know it might sound arrogant, but also I think they would miss me if I wasn't there. It will only be on my days off of work, it will also help me get the experience I need for a resume. I have found that most places hiring for childcare want you to have at least a years experience. I also just found out that I recieved a small scholarship for this internship I just did. I don't want to mention how much, but lets say it paid for about half of what the internship cost me. I am pretty grateful.
My plans are pretty much the same for school. I'll try to find a good job with benifits if I can't find one school stays. We'll see what happens. I've been on my myspace a lot latley. I just put some pic's up. I also want to join this writers guild. I hope that somehow I can get back to myself. I know I am me, but I just feel like things are not how I want them to be, and I have to mold them into what I want. It would be nice if I could just have what I want, but it doesn't happen that way. I have to work for it.
I'm just ready for some kind of change in my work/life/surrounding area. I know it's happening, but very slowly. Ha, ha another thing, our reunion is coming up, I was contacted on my myspace, lol.
LIFe Really is Crazy...
ARCADIA

Untitled "Poetry, and Writing"

Comfort, Warmth, Friendship

Are they here?

I was there or so I thought I'd been

My tear streaked face, thoughts possibilities, truths

slumping downward

one moment, an action, slight slip, and your alone

looking for something lost, shivering, fearful of events undone

searching for an answer.

I"m attacking Math, it's not atttacking Me!

"Why does math seem so much better when your learning it on your own, and no one's sticking it to you?"

Ok, so I finally got my math program up and running! I am starting from the easy way up. I am not going to force myself to try to accomplish the higher levels without understanding it all as a whole. I"m using ADvantage 2006. I am starting out with the pre-algebra/basic math. I have made it up to simplifying fractions. Fractions have always been one of my many conflicts with math. I am hoping to change this. I am finally beginning to understand how to do math again. I know that it is going to get harder and rougher. It just seems so much easier to take it in chunks then be thrown in a classroom with a bunch of people who already get it. I was always the one who couldn't move on to the next step, and now I can take as much time as I need to get the concepts. My BH is helping me too.
I don't know if this means I will continue on to get that teaching degree. I do want to try. Right now I am considering getting my associates in early childhood if it is offered through NMC mostly because if I am lucky by next fall I will be considered in district which will mean a savings for me on tuition. It would be a dream come true since they keep raising it.
I figure we'll be in district for a while longer. We have a few plans for re-locating into a home, but it is going to take time. I'm hoping to be in one by the time I'm 33 so I can finally start a family. It is so scary, I do want a family, but I am scared to death about having kids. This is why I only want one. I hope by then my math is improved so I can help them. I keep praying that things will turn around for us, and somehow god will take me where I need to be.
TTFN-ARCADIA

Listen

Originally posted on my blogger @ Myspace


slap, slap, drop, drop, crash, plunk, Liquid falls, gravity pulling it to the my roof as the air chills me.
Trickling down the window pane, splashing towards the earth it feeds. Worms squrim to feel the coolness of it on their bodies.
Deafening sounds burst
animals scury, flee, shelter on their minds, searching for warm huvels to hide in
Stillness
slowly they start to awake as the yellowish warm light rises
They sing
chic a dee dee dee, chic a dee dee dee
Red, yellow, green, blue and a faint hint of purple
make a stunning back ground to their paradise
Listen, relax, enjoy,
This Eden

Missing friends

Originally posted on my yahoo 360, on this exact date.


Hi,
I hope everyone is well, LOL. Ok, so not much new happening here. I was a bit sad today. I would have liked to have seen a friend or two. It didn't happen. Instead I read a book, cleaned house, did laundry, and ate food. I ended up going out and renting a movie. I watched "Pieces of April" which wasn't bad for an independent film. It had a good message, and I really do like Katie holms as an actress even though she is with Tommy. Hey, HollyWood is Hollywood, what can I say? I also rented "Match Stick Men." My BH is working right now so it is alone time for me. He's off cooking away, and staying put as to save gas money, and also the head ache of coming home only to go back to work. I do miss him, but he calls often. That's why sometimes I would like company. The other reason is sometimes you just need your girlfriends. I am so jelous of those girls who have close friends near them. Those that only have to pick up the phone, to call more then two friends. Me, I have about two friends here. The others have flown the coup, and one is almost impossible to get a hold of. I left a message on her phone today, but she never checks it. I complained to her mom about it while she was visiting, and guess what? Her mother actually agreed with me that she needs to check her messages more. Well this fool is going to go either watch t.v. or get ready to sleep. Deep thoughts? hmm what are those? It feels like I dream since I have had any. This summer put me into a writer's dream. For a while I was in a rant, and wrote a few poems, now I am just typing my thoughts, no form of poetry escapes my lips, and most of the time it does, it's accidental, so does that make me a bad writer?
TTFN Arcadia

Good morning and good night

Good Morning, It's still dark out. I should probably be in bed sleeping since I have to be up early. The only problem is I haven't blogged in a while. I have e-mails I should have answered, but I perfer waiting and writing a letter snail mail vs. e-mail. I"ve been on my myspace a lot, but not many messages lately. One of my good friends J.'s computer is down. It is really the only way we can communicate, since phone calls get expensive. Things are pretty good, but I always am looking for that "Sun to come out tommorrow", Or as they say "My ship to come in", but who isn't?
I've been spending my free time on the internet. I am reading a book, yep, literary too. It is called "plainsong." So far I think it is pretty good, interesting. Tonight I watched a movie, ok, but not as good as I thought it would be "Flight Plan." I also rented "Return to Neverland" that I"ll review tommorrow maybe. I'm happy with the Gilmore Clan again, it's pretty much back to the normal routine, of the gilmorisms.
Keeping my head up, that is what I am doing :). I try to find stuff to smile about like the kids I work with. I just found out my place of internship is considered a pre-school not a daycare so something new i need to learn how to refer to. Once in a while at work I feel like a somebody, reg work not my internship.
It's late and my brain needs to retire. I don't really feel like I've done much thinking lately though. I think my brain is on hiadius, like a good televison show. I just hope it comes back.
ARCADIA