NO HOMEWORK TONIGHT!!!!! YEAHHHHHH MADONNA!!!

Finally a friday night without homework. Yeah, I still have some to do, but I am taking the night off, and using as many coma splices as I want!!!! :) I am free of everything, if only for tonight. A great Documentary is airing tonight at ten pm by the Diva herself MADONNA! I am taping it, and hope I got the right time because no commericals will air with it! Rock on!!! So for one night I am happy. Things are slowly moving into place for my wedding.... It is getting better, thanks be to god!
Unfortunately, my honey and I have to get our computer fixed. It is on the blink, refusing to log on to the net! We thought it was our modem, but it doesn't seem to be. We bought a new on, and it still did not work. so we are thinking that the part that the modem is hooked into is shot. I hope we can get it fixed soon.
TTFN-Arcadia.....

Math my date on a friday night!!!!!

Tonight really sucked. I get home from work, and it's almost like all I have to do is Math! It's not like I am never going to get anything out of this class, and it hurts. I am barely passing and have little faith left that anything good will eventually come of it. It's like asking CBS to take their heads out of their ass and bring back Joan Of Arcadia!!!!! So I hope all of you out their tonight were able to go on a date, to a movie, or spend the evening watching a uselesss televison show, because I spent it with my TEN POINTER, a wonderful experience I tell you. I just want to do them every friday night for the rest of my life!!!! Would you like to join me? Please I really need your help.

ok you can all go to bed now. I have to get up at seven thirty and go to work. Would you like to trade places? I"ll glady give you my life for free, if you could give me a better one!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thinking back, and dreaming....

Water falls on the mountains slushing, and swirling into a pool below. I am here when I close my eyes reaching for heaven in my mind. The world stops....

I am the dreamer up in the clouds flying

alone with John Lennnon, Don Mclan,

and all those greats that are so far away.

Like Joan, My so called Life, all of those images I hold close to my heart with me forever. One thing they can never steal from us....... our dreams.

Thank god our minds are still our own, For the moment.

Taking it all away, hope fadding, you rip me apart, acting like you care.

Everything is slowly falling apart. I am the only one keeping it together. Everyone else is tearing, analyzing, and taking what they want. They use words without thought, or discreation. They think not of how I feel, only of what they think may come. It makes me want to pack my bags, head for California, and never look back. Chaos, throwing out everything I own and love to prove a point. That everything I own is worthless compared to one human life attachment. I am made to feel small, worthless because of that attachment. The one who helps me keep it together. Judgement is always placed, I do to much, I don't expect enough, and god knows I have to prove something to everyone else. Nothing is good enough. I am not allowed to make bad choices. I"m not suppose to get "M" no I am suppose to remain the sullen queen. I am suppose to go home to Caddy, relive hell on earth again. I am not suppose to be happy. How dare I choose to live on less then twelve thou a year for L-O-V-E...........

No I am suppose to listen to everyone else.... Society, and I am suppose to put on a Pretty smile cuz MOmmy don't want her little Arcadia to make any mistakes. I am strong, I can fight, I have fought this far, without health insurance, without riches or fame. I still live, I still suffer, I am still here.

"Garden State".......

I walk alone down the aisle, she can stay away from me. I will talk to my attachement, I will speak with his units. I will let the truth be told. If it be, well I will go elope, f**k em alll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to pack up my possessions and leave everyone, because money, and power is all that is important here.

Arcadia, I wish I was there...

I pray god will take me home....

because of the events taking place......

but god wants me here.......

often I ask him why......

please guide me well...

don't let me stray

point me in the direction

don't let others sway me....

or just get it over and take me....

because I wish not to take myself...

I belong to only god..... who loves me.

Tonight I am so tired. I just finished reading a book for my Cultural Diversity class around eight pm. I also did all my laundry tonight, and am in the process of cleaning out my hamster. I have looked at the information for writing a paper on Bless me Ultima, a pretty good book. I am very confused on how I am going to incorporate all the information in the intro so my audience understands what I am talking about if they have never read the book. I am doing it on the bodies of water that surround the village of Guadalupe. The people in the village are not all pure and innocent people. There are things they have done in order to anger the bodies of water, and what is in them; that is the goldon carp. I will discuss this and other characters that are connected to my argument.

Any way this is what I am thinking about right now. I wish I could give you all something more intellectual not that many of you read my writing anyway. It's like I should know that only scholars look at my work and laugh!!!! It is amater, nothing fesible in there world, only a jumbled mess of words quickly typed for the world to view, but to me it's more then that. It's real life.

It can only get better right?

"Just try your best try everything you can don't worry what their bitter hearts are gonna say! It just takes some time little girl in the middle out the ride everything everything will be just fine......Just be yourself don't worry about if it's good enough for someone else"-Jimmy Eat World.

Signing off ARCADIA