Taking it all away, hope fadding, you rip me apart, acting like you care.

Everything is slowly falling apart. I am the only one keeping it together. Everyone else is tearing, analyzing, and taking what they want. They use words without thought, or discreation. They think not of how I feel, only of what they think may come. It makes me want to pack my bags, head for California, and never look back. Chaos, throwing out everything I own and love to prove a point. That everything I own is worthless compared to one human life attachment. I am made to feel small, worthless because of that attachment. The one who helps me keep it together. Judgement is always placed, I do to much, I don't expect enough, and god knows I have to prove something to everyone else. Nothing is good enough. I am not allowed to make bad choices. I"m not suppose to get "M" no I am suppose to remain the sullen queen. I am suppose to go home to Caddy, relive hell on earth again. I am not suppose to be happy. How dare I choose to live on less then twelve thou a year for L-O-V-E...........

No I am suppose to listen to everyone else.... Society, and I am suppose to put on a Pretty smile cuz MOmmy don't want her little Arcadia to make any mistakes. I am strong, I can fight, I have fought this far, without health insurance, without riches or fame. I still live, I still suffer, I am still here.

"Garden State".......

I walk alone down the aisle, she can stay away from me. I will talk to my attachement, I will speak with his units. I will let the truth be told. If it be, well I will go elope, f**k em alll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to pack up my possessions and leave everyone, because money, and power is all that is important here.

Arcadia, I wish I was there...

I pray god will take me home....

because of the events taking place......

but god wants me here.......

often I ask him why......

please guide me well...

don't let me stray

point me in the direction

don't let others sway me....

or just get it over and take me....

because I wish not to take myself...

I belong to only god..... who loves me.