What's going on?

Another day of math, it went ok, I did better on this ten pointer :) . It's still hard to think about what is going to happen with everything. School, and my life. I once had a friend ask, how can you keep an online journal, how can you expose yourself like that to the world. I just want to be known. I want people to learn from me in a positive way, Maybe even learn what not to do in your lives.
One problem that has popped up is one of my friends has chosen not to attend a class much, and she only shows up to our tutoring sesesions when she can. This may mean the end of tutoring for me. It's already bad enough that another member who signed up never attends either. Once they miss three times my time could be up. I still need to go over a lot of Geometry I didn't get, and also I have my other class to worry about.
It doesn't help that my fiance and I got into a fight last night. Well what really happened is he just got mad at me and stormed out. Latter he explained himself to me and why he was mad. I guess I understood, but I have a lot going on to. Ugh. Oh well life is full of complications. Everyone says that is what make it so interesting, I beg to differ.
So today after work I am going to start my new Ten pointer, go over my notes for math, then Tuesday after I get up work on my math book report. After that I hope I can get to my paper plan for project one. I am trying to take all of this step my step. I really want to take those classes that I signed up for this next semester, but I may have to take math over again. I had a source that said I should just get back on the wagon and take it with a different professor. I just don't know how understanding those other professor will be about my disability that has never been documented. I mean some of the mistakes I make, I don't even know if I know I am making them. It's like I'm spaced out, and then latter when I go back I understand what I did. I know I should really be tested, and all the excuses I come up with such as time, money really does play a factor into it. Things are kind of tight right now in that area when I think about payinf for next semester all on my own.
I still wonder why god doesn't want me. I asked him last night why I see so many people moving ahead of me and he won't let me follow. I always lag behind the rest so what good am I. yeah some people tell me I"m a breath of fresh air, but sometimes I don't know if I am just putting on a show, giving my audience what they want to hear.
Arcadia