"It's not all rainbows and butterfly it's compromise that moves us along"

someone once told me what if things don't get better, what if they keep going wrong? It is something that I have never wanted to believe; being the optimistic person I am. I try to take inspiration from those around me as well as artistic expressions that give me hope. Joan of Arcadia being one of them, along with Annie, Hope, Ellen Foster, Erin Brockovitch, ect. Right now I am going through a phase where I just feel sad. There are so many things going on all at once, and I just have to let them go and think of college. It's not only that some of it seems like it is a separation of even this life. I feel like it is something outside of me, maybe it's just the world, and how I perceive it.
I took my mid-term today for linguistics. I am scared shitless about how well I actually did on it. Math is going midiorcruly however you spell that word. My love keeps telling me that I will be a great teacher because I often doubt what I can do. Nothing to laugh at their even though I would love to write a ha ha in there. I am willing to acknowledge that I to make mistakes, I"m only human. My friend made a big mistake this weekend hurting me greatly only non presence. This person was not there for me like they said they would be, but spent time with others. It was her choice I guess, that she will have to live with. It will be a long time til we see each other again.
As much as I feel emotionally hurt by the world, some of it's people (mostly the government), and it's choices. I know that I cannot just stop time, the world, or life from existing. I believe it is important for me to have a good cry and move on. I will have to push some obstacles out of the way. It's not going to be easy. As "Matilda" said "No more miss nice girl!"
Arcadia